Are you what you stand for?

Single Dad Laughing is a blog that has had a few posts that spread across the internet.  He writes about parenting and has had some very moving posts about bullying.  One of my favorites is the "congratulations, you just broke your child," and made me re-evaluate a lot of things and want to be a better parent in the future.  Today I read one of his recent posts "I'm Christian, unless you're gay".  You can read it here.

One thing I have really have issues with is when people judge others or treat them a certain way because of who they are, and for things they can't change.  We all have done it. I have caught myself doing it.  I remember once I was going to go say hello to one of my former managers.  He was there with a big black guy with the big jewelry and I was too nervous to go say hello.  I thought for sure he was a gangster, they worked in South Center, and he dressed like I thought one would.  It was about a month later I had a training with him, and he was nothing like I pictured.  We were pretty much best friends at that week of training quoting family guy and south park... we had so much in common, and he was certainly no gangster.  I felt so bad about myself for judging him, and I told myself from then on I would try not to judge someone from what I thought they were, because who knows who they REALLY are?

Dan's post is about people claiming to follow beliefs based on loving others, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Wicca, etc. all say that you should love each other, and not judge.  Not "love each other, except those with sin, or that believe other than you, and it is your discretion what is covered."  He tells the story of his friend "Jacob" that has lost every single one of his friends (besides Dan) that he has told he was gay. It was painful to read because there are SO many people out there that are unable to come out and be themselves whether it be religion, sexual orientation, or just their interests, because they know others will look down upon them.  I am very close to some people suffering from the same thing, and to a degree myself.  Are they really affecting anyone else with their beliefs?  They are HAPPY. They should be. Everyone has the right to be.  We shouldn't have to censor who we are to please others, and the others should love you for who you are.  It is hard to be close to others that feel like the love from their family/friends is conditional.  The people that are supposed to love them only do so when the person in question is UNHAPPY ("but they are living the RIGHT way"), and that is sad.

So what if someone is gay?  So what if they drink?  So what if they are Muslim?  Is your life any worse because of it?  Is their happiness an issue for you? "If they were straight they would be happier.  If they never drank.  If they joined (or re-joined) my religion....they would know true happiness." No. They wouldn't. They have probably tried that.  In most cases, I am certain they have.  For many I know, it has been the most freeing experience, and happiest of their lives when they came out, or left their religion, or dressed like they wanted even if it meant their entire families disapprove and lost most of their friends. Again, that is sad.  Nobody deserves that.

He made a great point. One that everyone should realize to be a member of society.  Somewhere, someone thinks what you believe is absolutely wrong.  You seek acceptance, as do they. In their "perfect" world, you don't exist.  The thing is, we all do.  We all are here with different minds, but the one thing we all have in common is that we all want to be happy.  People are happy when there is love and acceptance, not judgments  disapproval, and hatred.  He challenges people to go to someone they wouldn't normally and love them.  I challenge people to go to someone they would normally, and love them more.  Even if it is not how you want them to live, realize that they are happy, and you love them, and love creates happiness in you, and everyone ends up in a good place.  Or not. We can all choose who we want to be.  You can continue judging, and hating, and disapproving, and wishing they were different, and you can live to be disappointed day in and day out.  That is up to you, but I know which one I would rather be.